Sometimes when i see others, and I see their troubles... I don\'t want to blow my brains out. I am lucky. I have health. I must do more than exist. I am just so angry--at me. --at loveless mom and dad-- imagine--a 44 y/o man saying that - a childhood of neglect and without love can only exist, and be recognized, by knowing that an alternative existence was possible. --why can\'t I stop crying over spilt milk??
Squander what I do have --what a selfish bratty thing to do.
So many people use today to reflect on the past in addition to saying thank you for the good that they have received in this world. Perhaps instead of reflecting, we should be a beacon for the good to come, if we\'re good to eachother.
Yes. More than a day of introspection. A day of execution -a day to begin doing what ( we find excuses not to do )we should be doing daily.
I will begin today to: be a better friend. Answering voicemails. Exercising after my last meal of the day.
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Sometimes when i see others, and I see their troubles... I don\'t want to blow my brains out. I am lucky. I have health. I must do more than exist. I am just so angry--at me. --at loveless mom and dad-- imagine--a 44 y/o man saying that - a childhood of neglect and without love can only exist, and be recognized, by knowing that an alternative existence was possible. --why can\'t I stop crying over spilt milk??
Squander what I do have --what a selfish bratty thing to do.
I am so broken.
I am afraid.
Something worse than this life may exist. I will find that something worse. It will be me--if I don\'t do --something-- but what?? What can I do???
Worse places exist. I don\'t want to go to a worse place.
How can I stop this
so much shame in admitting.... homeless, jobless, fat, hopless, friendless.
...why am I still alive???
So many people use today to reflect on the past in addition to saying thank you for the good that they have received in this world. Perhaps instead of reflecting, we should be a beacon for the good to come, if we\'re good to eachother.
Yes. More than a day of introspection. A day of execution -a day to begin doing what ( we find excuses not to do )we should be doing daily.
I will begin today to: be a better friend. Answering voicemails. Exercising after my last meal of the day.
Well. ... time to stop procrastinating. This past years goals are still unfulfilled.
So, time to get it done. 24 lbs today. Still need to finish coursework and test.
Time to stop wallowing and work.