OMG !!
I DO NOT F***ING BELIEVE THIS!!!!! I just had the day from hell. I drove over 100 miles today, that's about 3 hours, between going to work and transporting children around all evening after work. I got to listen to all their anger and woes and stresses and about how much THEIR lives suck. I didn't get "off (parental) duty" until midnight. I spent 2 hours trying to unwind by writing all about it in this journal. It was quite a lengthy treatise.
I had just put the 'period' at the end of the last sentence, when I noticed a spelling error. Couldn't have that! Had to go correct it! I moved the cursor to the appropriate place, clicked on the mouse, and poof! The browser opened a "new window" and I lost every last freaking word I had just written. Gone. Forever. I guess that's what I get for not writing it in Word first. Now it's 2 am and I'm all wound up again!!
Sometime during the solitary hours of my drive today, it occurred to me that if my life sucked any more than it does right now, it would be a Black Hole.
I had just put the 'period' at the end of the last sentence, when I noticed a spelling error. Couldn't have that! Had to go correct it! I moved the cursor to the appropriate place, clicked on the mouse, and poof! The browser opened a "new window" and I lost every last freaking word I had just written. Gone. Forever. I guess that's what I get for not writing it in Word first. Now it's 2 am and I'm all wound up again!!
Sometime during the solitary hours of my drive today, it occurred to me that if my life sucked any more than it does right now, it would be a Black Hole.
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A very funny guy I used to know said, \"It\'s always darkest -- before it goes totally BLACK.\" Since I had never heard it before, I almost wet my pants laughing. Then there\'s the lyric from some country/western song back in the 80\'s that was about \"seeing the light at the end of the tunnel -- and realizing it\'s an oncoming TRAIN!\"
Perhaps all this frustration is a SIGN that you need to stop trying to be all things to all people. Honey, nobody LIKED admitting that she wasn\'t SUPERWOMAN anymore than ME. Beleive me, when I took that spill off my horse two years ago and was flat on my back for MONTHS, it suddenly occurred to me that I needed to make some SERIOUS CHANGES in my life or I was going to kill myself!
People tell others here all the time BE KIND TO YOURSELF! BE GENTLE ON YOURSELF! Just because you\'ve \"always done all these things\" doesn\'t mean you have to continue to do them...especially when other areas of your life are in chaos.
I am going to concentrate on sending you some CHILL OUT vibes today. I hope this helps.
One last thought....I came to realize that I had never asked for HELP because somewhere deep inside, I didn\'t think I DESERVED help! Once I got that mind-set turned around, I was AMAZED at the folks who willingly stepped forward to offer their help! My neighbor taught me to drive my big tractor; helped me get in hay for the winter (this was during the 18 Months of Hell); an old friend came over and helped me clean the leaves out of my rain gutters in the fall; another one boarded my two horses at his farm for 10 days so I could \"get out of Dodge\" and get some respite time with a couple of friends of mine out in Santa Cruz ( I sooo needed a break!).
When I met Tom, he noticed that I was still trying to be all things to all people. He said, \"You are so FIERCELY INDEPENDENT! Independent is good; being FEIRCE about it sends a negative message -- like you are so damned tough, nobody would even offer to help you.\" Good observation. I did eventually learn that it\'s perfectly ok to admit you need some help.
At our church, there are two lists on the bulletin board all the time. One is PEOPLE WHO NEED HELP. The other is PEOPLE WHO ARE WILLING TO HELP. Guess which one has the most names on it? Yup. Those who are WILLING TO HELP.
I know for a fact that when I HELP OTHERS, I feel so good, I wonder why I don\'t go volunteer somewhere on a regular basis.
Try asking for help. I think you will be pleasantly surprised with the results!
I\'ve had this happen too!! I remember trying to reconstruct it, with absolutely no luck....I tried to hit my back button, I tried everything....gone! Sorry the \"day from hell\" got you like that, tho.
If you can hit the control and Z key at the same time immediately you can sometimes get your journal back. I\'ve managed to get my journal back twice.
I write to clear my mind of the days work and other things. Once it\'s on paper I let it go. If I have to try to write it a second time it\'s never quite the same. So frustrating when that happens and it\'s been a bad day.