So mum hasn't lost it, but she isn't right at the same time.
And now she's annoyed at me because in our conversation on the phone today, she mentioned about how she has been waking up at 2am lately. And that with the fact that she has had headaches and seemed a bit out of it and says she feels funny in the head but reckons she has a cold. Well of course it all starts freaking me out. And all I said was are you getting up at 2? She said no have you ever known me to get up at 2 (Well yes when you sick actually) but I didn’t say that. I fraised everything I said as casual as possible. Yet she still got annoyed and short with me. Don't go checking up on me she said. Well yeah I guess it is annoying having someone worry about your every move, but isn't that better then going manic and psychotic and destroying your life even more! I am just sick of it. Fine she doesn’t want me to check on her fine.
But the reason I can't just let her go, is because I know when she gets sick she isn't in control if her actions. It's like saying that a 2 year old is responsible for their own life. And I am NOT meaning that a person with mental illness is like a child, I just mean they can't be expected to look after themselves completely. And they are words form the psychologist I saw for the first time the other day.
So heaps of people have said to me let her go it's her choice...but it's not, not really when she gets sick...but she doesn't want my help until it's got that bad I can't stand to be near her. And I just don't want to do any of this anymore.
And now she's annoyed at me because in our conversation on the phone today, she mentioned about how she has been waking up at 2am lately. And that with the fact that she has had headaches and seemed a bit out of it and says she feels funny in the head but reckons she has a cold. Well of course it all starts freaking me out. And all I said was are you getting up at 2? She said no have you ever known me to get up at 2 (Well yes when you sick actually) but I didn’t say that. I fraised everything I said as casual as possible. Yet she still got annoyed and short with me. Don't go checking up on me she said. Well yeah I guess it is annoying having someone worry about your every move, but isn't that better then going manic and psychotic and destroying your life even more! I am just sick of it. Fine she doesn’t want me to check on her fine.
But the reason I can't just let her go, is because I know when she gets sick she isn't in control if her actions. It's like saying that a 2 year old is responsible for their own life. And I am NOT meaning that a person with mental illness is like a child, I just mean they can't be expected to look after themselves completely. And they are words form the psychologist I saw for the first time the other day.
So heaps of people have said to me let her go it's her choice...but it's not, not really when she gets sick...but she doesn't want my help until it's got that bad I can't stand to be near her. And I just don't want to do any of this anymore.
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