Ok 2011 has been pretty good for me so far. Which I am so grateful for! Mum seems to be going great. Which I am so grateful for! But in the back of my mind I’m still really worried. I always get nervous when things go well, scared that it will fall apart.
I’m going to L.A for a week, in less then 2 weeks we leave. Things have been so good. It just needs to last. The last thing I need is any stress before I go. I want to be able to have a good time and just relax. I am a very nervous flyer so I am already scared and worried in that area so I really need for my mum and sister and everyone else to be ok, before we go, while we are there and when we get back.
We have spent $1000's on this trip, money we barely had and we want to enjoy it.
Please let everything be ok, please please please.
I need mum's bipolar to be under control, her medication to be working. Before we go, while we are there and when we get back. I want mum to be ok always.
I want all our families to be ok.
I want us to have safe flights and a good relaxing fun time. For me and J to be happy and safe and get home safe!
I'm just having a really anxious day and I am not liking it at all.
I am finally starting to relax a bit and believe things could be good, and that scares me, thinking It scares me, writing it scares me, saying it out loud scares me. But I want to believe it so much.
Please let this be true, things are going to be wonderful this year, the whole year!!!!
Another thing I am trying not to do is make others problems my own, like this my sister who I love hasn’t got a job atm, she is trying to find one. I do hope she does really quickly. I am however getting annoyed that she keeps wanting me to help her with all the applications, and when I say help, think of the answers and she writes them, or be over here using the computer for hours and I still have to fix it up. When I have looked for jobs I do it myself. I just get annoyed when I do everything I possibly can for myself and others rely on other people all the time.
Saying that makes me feel really selfish...
sigh i dont know.
Just please 2011 continue to be good, help me to continue to beilieve, the more it happens the better i will feel.
I’m going to L.A for a week, in less then 2 weeks we leave. Things have been so good. It just needs to last. The last thing I need is any stress before I go. I want to be able to have a good time and just relax. I am a very nervous flyer so I am already scared and worried in that area so I really need for my mum and sister and everyone else to be ok, before we go, while we are there and when we get back.
We have spent $1000's on this trip, money we barely had and we want to enjoy it.
Please let everything be ok, please please please.
I need mum's bipolar to be under control, her medication to be working. Before we go, while we are there and when we get back. I want mum to be ok always.
I want all our families to be ok.
I want us to have safe flights and a good relaxing fun time. For me and J to be happy and safe and get home safe!
I'm just having a really anxious day and I am not liking it at all.
I am finally starting to relax a bit and believe things could be good, and that scares me, thinking It scares me, writing it scares me, saying it out loud scares me. But I want to believe it so much.
Please let this be true, things are going to be wonderful this year, the whole year!!!!
Another thing I am trying not to do is make others problems my own, like this my sister who I love hasn’t got a job atm, she is trying to find one. I do hope she does really quickly. I am however getting annoyed that she keeps wanting me to help her with all the applications, and when I say help, think of the answers and she writes them, or be over here using the computer for hours and I still have to fix it up. When I have looked for jobs I do it myself. I just get annoyed when I do everything I possibly can for myself and others rely on other people all the time.
Saying that makes me feel really selfish...
sigh i dont know.
Just please 2011 continue to be good, help me to continue to beilieve, the more it happens the better i will feel.
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