So my plan today is to do the big pile of washing up that I didn't do yesterday and to do a little bit of exercise. I find it so hard to motivate myself to do the housework. To do anything most of the time. It just over whelms me so that bit of washing up becomes this big thing I'll never get done and then I leave it and of cause more builds up. I don't understand what's wrong with me. I guess it's the depression. I have lost the motivation for most things in life.
And I want to do some exercise because I need to lose some weight, but I can only motivate myself to do it every now and then. Also I eat all the time. And it's usually bad food. I love food and eat for any reason or feeling. And I know it isn't good. But I really don't want to give up something that I find so enjoyable.

Had a bad dream last night. Mum went manic. I have these dreams all the time and then I start to get scared that it it's a premonition. But I do it quite regularly so I think it's just even my subconscious mind is terrified. In this dream Mum went parachuting into water filled with all these creatures and insisted it was a great idea, no matter what me and my sister said we couldn’t stop her.
But it was just a dream, a dream and nothing more.