I'm so sick of feeling sad and scared. And I don't know what to do because what is making me feel sad & scared is pretty much beyond my control. I hate it when things are out of my control. I'm too scared to relax, scared that will mean things will go wrong. Scared that all my worrying makes things go wrong. Scared that if I don't worry & try to relax & enjoy life, things will go wrong. I'm praying that how mum has been means things are good & will stay good. That this IS the rainbow, NOT the calm before the storm or the eye of the storm. The rainbow. The good times, the piece, and being able to relax & be happy & actually enjoy life again.

Please let this be the rainbow!!!! Pleeeeease not the calm before the storm or the eye of the storm! The rainbow. Where everyone is safe & happy & healthy. My mums bipolar is under control. Where
everything is ok. It's rainbow. Please God, please anyone. Pleeeease!!!!!