Today is hubby's birthday.i feel as though i really have to strain myself to be happy for this occassion. might have to self-med again today but at this point,as long as it's not with booze,i really dont give a shit anymore.it brings me major relief,so i do it.hopefully i can paint on a smile,so to speak in order to get thru this day.too many people coming for cake tonight.just cant be social when i feel like something that the cat dragged in. HA!!!!!Wow i actually laughed at myself here for a minute.....more to come later!!!Thanks everyone for all of your support!!!  where would i be without DS some days!!!