here we go again!! it's only 10 am.been up an hour and im starting to feel like shit again emotionally and now physically. my 'shrink' just increased my meds and that has caused some wickedly painful headaches along with them not helping with the depression aspect of this dreaded illness.May have to self medicate with some percs again today. for all of you who made comments on my last journal entry,i took what you said to heart but my body is wanting me to self medicate again. i'll see if i can hold out for today but I really doubt it b/c the pain(emotionally and physically) just goes away. i cant drink to make it go away like soooo many times in the past.i need a crutch and i know painkillers arent such a good choice due to my addictions but ive gotta do something today before i literally "jump out of my skin". I'm not manic, altho wanting to jump out of your skin sounds like mania but i mean i just cant stand being in this very emotionally ill shell that i feel like i exist in. i believe that having booze in my system,like the poison that it is, will continue to make me feel worse.percs are wonderful.no big hangover altho there's a slight narcotic hangover if you eat too many.anyway,that's one drug of choice for me.so is any other "upper" altho i dont have problems with them. i'm feeling vERY down today and feel like i cant exist like this anymore.not sure what to do next.Do I ride it out like my shrink tells me to do(he's been telling me that for months now) or continue to find ways to self-medicate so i can still feel somewhat alive and functional?????
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I don\'t have an answer to that question but I do hope that you can choose a solution that will give you a long term result that makes you feel better. I have always felt that we have to detox all the stuff out of our systems and then give our bodies time to be able to make the feel good chemicals again on their own, cuz while we self medicate the body \"forgets\" how to make these on their own. It takes a year from what I\'ve read for this to correct itself. Not a great thing to learn at all but it is what it is I guess. I hope you feel better soon no matter what you decide to do.
xCharmx is absolutely correct. Pain Killers can depress you although I dont find that true with myself. Feel better soon Honey! We all love you & care about you! xoxoxo
for years i self medicated with pot...no more as i am addicted to the shit. but, if we self medicate, the docs won\'t be able to adjust meds because there are other chemicals playing a part of your moods. does that make sense? please be careful...LOVE AND HUGS robin
THANK YOU , THANK YOU your comments to try to help me stay well.i love everyone for it and am so glad to be here on DS where you get unconditional support. Peace and love.LOLA***
dont understand what happened when i tried to make a comment in my own journal.all they could come up with for me is nnnnnnnn.
I meant to say that i am thankful for all of your responses.it shows you really care!l Some great advice from some wonderful people. peace and love.lola