wow what a week this has been.resisting temptaion,getting off the roller coaster of emotions due to meds finally kicking in,celebrating my anniversary of my sobriety, and dealing with sadness and grief about my aunt passing away.it was my hubbys aunt so I felt not a strong emotional connection to the woman and was more sad for his loss.I felt, how could i feel so good and not feel selfish about it.it has been so long that ive felt good for 4 days in a row for months and months now. Again, i felt bad for feeling good.  what disturbed me the most about the wake was when a friend of ours walked in to pay his respects.He has been recently diagnosed with inoperable bone cancer due to it being so close to his heart.when he approached the casket, that is when i began to cry.here's a 45 year old man,feeling completely miserable physically and emotionally, taking the time to show his respect for the family.   Here is an 82 year old woman who has lived a wonderful life until the end.  Something seemed wrong with the sadness I experiened when he waled thru the door and how i remained calm and cool the rest of the time due to not feeling any true,deep felt, significant loss????  not sure about the emotional aspect and if anyone can help me with this i would truly appreciate it my friends.peace and love.Lola***