anothere dreaded day here in the life of me.  what a drag this illness is.  gotta continually wait and wait for the cocktail to kick in...im tired of waiting.  im soooo mentally exhausted right now i feel like i could fall down.  i need to get off this emotional rollercoaster.  i paid for my ticket took my ride now i wanna get off of this f-in ride causing all this mayhem for me.  if you read this journal, i hope you are doing well.  at least better than i am right now...oh dread...another day.  i just want to drug myself out of this but i wont do it, not even withmy script drugs like klonopin.  continually trying to stay sober and not partake in any illicit drug use.  cant hep it sometimes tho.  i am still sober alcoholically speaking tho.  Anyway,a shitty ass day for me.  Peace  and love to all my friends.  lola***