Today was very bad. I was pushig myself the last the two day to keep busy. Trying to ease the pain. I pushed to hard. I am mentally and phyically drained. I went to sleep. Do not want to think or talk. Have trouble dealing with life. Went through some anger today. I feel guilty when I get angry. I seem to think I have to go around being nice all the time. Because God will be mad at me or Joe. Feel like I have to be nice to mean people and to everyone. Even people I don't know. Yes, I am losing it. My Mind. 
I am very thankfull my Dad's surgery went well. He is coming along. Thanks to all that showed their concern. DS has been a great.....help. Bless All...please
Replies
Hi,
I hope this isn\'t a duplicate message, for some reason the message I wrote was deleted. I will try to remember what I wrote!!
I\'m sorry you are having such a lousy day! Those days come (uninvited) and they go (thank goodness!)
I am glad you recognize the positive in your Dad\'s surgery. It is a blessing he is doing well.
Anger, sadness, guilt and feeling drained is all part of the grieving process. Our mind and body is taking a terrible beating. It is all necessary to start the healing process. Remember in all that being \"nice\" to everyone that you have to be \"nice\" to yourself. Don\'t beat yourself up. Take a day at a time, and then you will realize that you can get through the weeks, months and yes, even years. We are learning to remold our lives. I will pray that tomorrow will be better for you.
Dawn
Please dont be hard on yourself and you do not have to pretend in front of people.Of course you willgrieve.Everyone should understand that.If u cant cope,stay away from those people till u r stronger.Take care.