Progress

I went for a walk the other day. It felt great. I haven't been outside walking by myself in a long time. I recently noticed that I only go out walking when I feel strong. I think it's because I am scared that were I to be attacked again I would not be strong enough to fight my way out like before. I still don't trust people. Though I am friendly and open, I rarely try to get to know the person I am speaking to. This self reflection has helped a lot. Now that I'm working out again and building up my strength I feel so much better about myself. I have a lot on my right now with some family troubles, but when it comes to the family I don't really worry. My family is the one thing in my life where I know that even if the world is going to hell around us, we will find away. We may argue and bicker the whole way there, but we will be okay again. We have made it through so much I find it hard to believe that anything less than God could take us down. Though I am not a religious woman to say, I thank God everyday for who I am and how far I have made it. Several times I could have died, by both my own hand or by others, and yet I am here today blessed beyond my worth. You got to stop thinking of the negative so much, or at least learn to over rule it with logic or past experience. That's my next goal on my trip to health. I have given up cigarettes, soda, and began working out daily; it's time I gave up negative thoughts. I am too strong to allow myself to wallow in the negativity that is my own mind.