I am feeling good about myself, and am now starting to make progress on my fears.  I have been making myself deal with the fear of the dark, and that has been helping.  Here is an example of what I have been doing.  When I get done with getting items out of a supply closet at work, I shut off the light and stay in there for 2-3 seconds, then I open the door.  I make myself face the fear; consequently, I feel better about myself. I have also noticed lately that the love factor is starting to come back.  That wall is starting to come down as I deal with my fears, and I feel better about myself.  However, the fears will never fully disipate because I will every now and then always have flashbacks and fears to deal with until Christ returns.  I hope to be past all of them by October 1 of this year, but its all in His timing. Another area I have noticed is that I have been exercising more, which is making me feel good; consequently, my self-esteem and self-worth is going up from everything I have mentioned here thus far. I went to a local support group for the second time, and plan on making a regular habit out of it because it helps me to see others in person and recieve encouragement as well as advice on how to handle things, which has been a huge blessing.  I am so glad I was able to work up the courage because now my life is getting better, and I am doing better at changing my negative thoughts to positive.  He alone deserves the glory!!! OCC did not write back, which I am thankful, but I do hope that they learned something from what I wrote, and that something positive changes as a result.  If not, either which way they have to answer to God.  I have no regrets because that entire letter was what the Holy Spirit told me to write.  I am now one step closer to forgiveness.  Praise the Lord!!!  No matter how much I bash the school, it is therapy for me, and one step closer to moving forward, which is how I view it. I will be going to MCC next week for a Women's Retreat being held at the K-STATE student union.  I am very much looking forward to it because life is very stressful here working over 40 hours a week, but I am so glad to be in ministry, although at times I wonder, "Why now?"  After all that I have been through, but obviously God had something bigger in store for me, and I love helping others get back on there feet because there have been many times I have been very close to homeless, but the Lord provided somehow in the midst of it.  He alone is to be worthy of praise!!! I will do my best to keep you updated.