I have lost a lot of sleep trying to figure out ways to make ends meet the past couple of days.  Thankfully God provided parents.  I know I can get through it, despite owing them $250, but that is okay.  All I know is that I hate paying for bills, and long for Christ to return because of how greedy people are.  Wouldn't you agree?  I am changing my medicine to Prozac because it lasts longer than Lexapro, and it has a generic.  I hope to recieve it soon, so I can sleep at night, and not be so anxious.I had a terrible flashback today.  I remembered what I felt at night with the way he touched me in my privates and penetrated me, it makes me SICK!!!  Every time I remember this though, I feel like dirt every time, and I hate it.  Why does this flashback keep coming back to me? I can't stand it!  I hate the creep and long for him to repent, but I do not see that happening anytime soon, but right now I long for Christ to return, and for him to face judgement for what he did to me, and who knows whom else as well.  JUSTICE will be served that day, whether we get it on earth or not.  It makes me sick that he can get away with a crime.  I heard something on television that syphillis can lay dormant for years.  Is that true?  If so, then I may need to be retested for STD's.  Plus the fact that the UA will probably end up negative, which makes me sick as well, but one day, his day is coming when Christ returns.  I have no regrets, and still feel like it was my fault.  I don't think I really could have prevented it because of him drugging me.  Wouldn't you agree?