Tomorrow makes three months since the rape. I do not like the first of the month. My mom was not encouraging when I told her this. She was basically saying that I make things bigger than what they are, but really I am trying to cope. It hurt me when she said what she did. I am going to Manhattan, KS tomorrow, so I can get away for one day at least. My professor has planed out my entire weekend, which I greatly appreciate, and does understand what I am going through because his daughter went through the rape as well. He and his wife are so supportive. I am so glad that I am apart of MCC.I have accomplished those two triggers I mentioned to you from last week. I have added three more: sleeping, sex on TV, and Ibuprofren. The hardest one of these would have to be sleeping. I can't stand the dark ever since the rape. I have to have a night light on, and sleep in the living room. At the same time, each day I am making progress daily with your help and with many others as well.Guess what? I am finally going to choir practice tomorrow to get ready for our musical. I am excited. I also know that it is going to be grueling 3 hours, but afterwards I will be picked up to go to Manhattan, and look forward to the conversation I will have with my prof. In many ways, he is mentoring me, and helping me through this. God has placed awesome people in my life, and I am so glad to have you and many others.Have a wonderful weekend!
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its great you have god in your life because he is the only one who can help us through this ,iam glad you asked me to be your friend ,keep in touch and you go gurl i will pray for in you xoxoxoxox
After I started remembering, I had to sleep in the living room with the TV on...not loud..but on and enough that its like whispers. One thing I realized that helped me was having a fan blowing in my face. I don\'t know why but the cool air being blown...just refreshes me...maybe because it makes me feel alive...
Its good to find your triggers and I\'m sorry your mom isn\'t being as supportive. Sometimes the ones you wish were most supportive don\'t know how and if they \'ignore it...it isn\'t true..\". Be gentle with yourself this weekend. Take care sweet one.
ONE DAY AT A TIME.ONE STEP AND A TIME AND ONE GOAL AT A TIME GOES WITH ALL OF THIS.YOU ARE COPING THE BEST YOU CAN SO KEEP IT UP AND GOD WILL GUIDE YOU ALSO.PRAYERS MANDY.
You know how many times I went to sleep in my bed but ended up on the couch? I lost count a long time ago. I still have problems doing the home alone thing at night. It\'s getting easier but it still causes a lot of anxiety for me.
As far as moms are concerned...mine didn\'t understand either. It took her about a year and visit with me to my therapist for her to figure it out. This is your emotions not hers and you have every right to have them...with or without her approval. And I am sure your mom loves you very much. Just some thoughts from someone who is still living through it.