Today, I am doing okay. I am almost out of the hole due to one of my bank accounts. Praise God!! I no longer am in shock, but am in extreme denial over what happened. My gut keeps telling me that he used GHB on me because I have not heard anything from the detective in about 5 weeks, which gives me the indication that it was out of my system by the time I went to the hospital. It urks me that he can get away with a crime!!!!!! When Christ comes back He will be the ultimate judge of Michael's actions. Praise His Holy and Awesome Name!!! I know that the Lord knows and understand my pain. I just hate how I feel. I know what happened to me is not my fault, but it hurts and bad. What are some ways you all have coped with it?I recieved a phone call today from my work accusing me of stealing a client's key that I did not have. I was furious!!!! I told her, "No," each time, and know who it was that accused me, and that assisted living place is very gossippy, so you get my drift. I believe the person misplaced it, and I even double checked my stuff; consequently, I do not have it. Uggghhhhh!!!!!! People have to find the nerve to accuse others, when they cannot even take responsiblity for themselves.
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Wow, Michael is also the name of my daughter\'s \"sperm donor\" (dv rape). Anyway - the important thing is that Christ is definitely the one who will judge. And we can trust in Him to heal us as well. I have struggled my entire life and it hasn\'t been until this past year through HUGE support from my pastor, AA friends, my trauma recovery group and Christ that I have made any progress in recovery. I am no longer wanting to die and full of black depression (tho things will always be a struggle I have hope today). I really wish I had gotten help along time ago but it wasn\'t available so I self medicated instead. For years i just hid in alcohol and drugs and that only made things so much worse and made me more of a victim - easy prey. The best thing I have done besides turning to Christ is allowing Him to move me to therapy. I joined a trauma recovery support group and for the first two & half months it was worse then anything, I wanted to quit everyday and even wanted to get high again - instead I began praying harder, more involved in my church and AA and really pushed through the pain. Christ continues to use all things to the good of those who believe, I know this. And the great thing is that I believe He can and will use our experience to help others if we allow Him - and that is to His glory. Honey you will always have the mental/emotional if not the physical scars of what happened, but you don\'t have to carry the poisonous infection inside - that can be healed slowly. I will never be able to erase the years of abuse but I can keep those memories from creating the cancerous hate in me it once did if I hold on to Christ. I will be praying for you. I was amazed to find out how common those date rape drugs are used. It\'s sickening but again we can trust in Christ to right the wrongs.
Hey hun,
I am basically trying to cope from prayer/church, counseling (at my church), medication, self-help books, and volunteer work. I am trying to keep myself busy and surround myself w people who love me so I feel loved. I hope this helped. Ill be praying for you