I still feel like dirt ever since the rape.  I am also awaiting to hear from the detective in regards to charges being filed, which I pray does happen.  I cannot sleep well at night like I want to, and I am still in shock and denial ever since it happened in such a way that I am still numb.  I hate how I am feeling.  This rape has effected every part of my life, and I hate it.  The guy makes me sick!!!!!  I want closure, but I hate the fact I am back at square one all over again.  I haven't been able to cry for at least a week.  I feel so violated and expolited.  I don't feel like a woman, instead I feel like an object.  Uggghhhh!!!!!