October 12, 2007 Here is my most recent journal.Reasons for a better week:1.  Support network growing daily2.  PFA/PFS  filed against rapist- go to court on the 18th at 9 a.m.- Pray for this 3.  The detective is going to present the case- Pray for charges to be filed4.  Car port for FREE due to circumstances5.  Divine appointments for the past 3 weeks on the word, "LOVE," so that I can better understand what it TRULY MEANS after what I have been throughMy anxiety level went down immensely since I got the PFA because beforehand I was running to my car and away from the offender.  Now I am not afraid of him, and have the control back in my life.When my negative thoughts occur lately its been due to catastrophizing, by making things bigger than what they are.  I've noticed a pattern.  Each time something traumatic occurs in my life I go back to that way of thinking, which is something I may have to work on for the rest of my life, and I can accept that is how I am.I still repetitiously keep having the same flashbacks as well as some new ones that I will not mention on here.I was doing some research on what happened to me, and indirectly the guy who raped me abused Jared as well through his porn addiction.  He didnt' say anything, but I kept telling him, "Change the channel, I don't want to watch this junk!"  After awhile he changed it, but I do remember being extremely furious with him.  He didn't respect my, "No," many times that night and following morning, which is why now all of these things are backfiring on him, and God is helping me every step of the way.I will keep you updated as things move along.  Have a good and blessed week.