I was raped again last night, this time with a guy who is approximately 41.  He is my neighbor who lives above me.  I was able to get him to go to church, and he was going on a monthly basis, which is a start.  I knew him well for over a year and five months, and was trusting of him.  Well, I am wrong.  I at this point am very leery of trusting men.  These are my fears since the incident:  dark, small places, and the public.  I might have more, but this is what I have noticed.  I e-mailed my counselor to let her know that I need to have counselng with her this week, if possible, but told her that I am unable to pay, in hopes that she will waive the fee for a brief time.  I will keep you updated.  Here is my second rape story.  I am telling you all because of the fact you are all encouraging and loving as well as know what it is like.  It all started when my fiance' and I were up there at 4 p.m. Sunday 30th.  He invited us to watch a movie, so of course we went over.  My fiance' left at 8 p.m.  I stayed around afterwards to talk with him.  He then started to suggest giving a massage, and how good he is at it.  I agreed to it, and he pinned me down on the floor and I was retaliating, but he would not respect my no.  He later suggested about 10 p.m. to put on his clothes, so he could massage me.  I eventually gave in.  He massaged me to the point I was asleep, and when I awoke I was disoriented, he helped me up, held on to me as well as pushed me into his room against my will.  I landed tummy first on the bed.  He came over on the bed, pinned down with his legs, and proceeded to massage me.  I fell asleep, and during that 10 minutes that I did, he put his fingers in my geinitalia holes through massage.  I immediately hit him and said, "No."  I was in pain in my neck, and he kept asking me if I wanted Ibuprofren.  I said that I wanted some, and how long it would take for it to work.  About 2, I was sound asleep, he then proceeded to take more advantage of me by massaging my genitalia, and was able to do that through massaging my head.  I was unable to fight back because of being pinned down.  When I eventuall woke up about 4 a.m., I kicked him off me, went to the bathroom and changed clothes, and immediately went back to my apartment.  I broked down crying.  Called my fiance' profusely, and he was sound asleelp, then called my friend in GA, and was able to get a hold of her, and we talked for about 1 hour.  I finally decided to file a police report, and go to the hospital for collection evidence, which all together took  6 hours.  I did not sleep well last night, and maybe had 2 hours of sleep, but I doubt it.  I have been in contact with people regularly to get their prayers, and have seen God's hand in all of it thus far too.  My work canceled me from the heart hospital, which I am thankful, and was able to reschedule for Wednesday, so now I am working 3 days straight 12 hour days.  I have a support system, and that is helping too.  I do have the skills to cope, but have no idea how I am going to break this to my parents.  Any advice on that?Please write back if you can, and have a blessed week.