ive not been on here for a while im doing fine i remember my first time on here nearly 9 months ago now how bad i felt and i just wanted to die i remember praying to god crying out loud please god help me today i have a higher power with me 24 hours a day i dont know what it is but i have no desire to pick up a drink well for today :0)them dark days getting up shaking empty cans hoping there was a bit left in one and a big smile if i found a full can and sweating all the way to the offlicence at 7am  drinking on the bus thinking noone was looking at me i was always hiding cans sneaking about i was a complete messi know i can never drink again i know just to think about it now im already thinking lets get more in  i love to see new people at AA and thinking i hope they get the program love to you all god bless :0)