day 188 cant believe it but i know its all because i just live in the day, just lately im finding it hard at times for the first time but i know it shall pass i only have to think would i go back to it quite honestly no i was a mess and it was very fast getting so bad i wanted to just end it all i remember waking up sweating going to the bus stop at 6.30am thinking hurry up i just wanted and needed to get to town to go to jacksons for some beers soon as i was in there the sweating stopped as i had my medicine a 12 pack of fosters for the day, then getting out of there and finding a porta loo to crack a can open it made me feel good but then i had to get another bus to work which was a 1 1/2 journey i had a further 5 cans on that bus then 2 more before i opened the shop up did i still feel good NO more like SHIT i remember walking around saying to myself marky what the F**k am i doing but i still as you know just had to carry on i needed it for it was my whole life in a can my life, job, family, feelings my whole life in that can as that can was the only thing that was more important than anything else in the world DO I WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT NO I LOVE LIFE MORE THAN ANYTHING NOW GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND KEEP IT IN THE DAY, KEEP IT SIMPLE AND KEEP DOING THE DOING XX MARKY XX day 188 cant believe it but i know its all because i just live in the day, just lately im finding it hard at times for the first time but i know it shall pass i only have to think would i go back to it quite honestly no i was a mess and it was very fast getting so bad i wanted to just end it all i remember waking up sweating going to the bus stop at 6.30am thinking hurry up i just wanted and needed to get to town to go to jacksons for some beers soon as i was in there the sweating stopped as i had my medicine a 12 pack of fosters for the day, then getting out of there and finding a porta loo to crack a can open it made me feel good but then i had to get another bus to work which was a 1 1/2 journey i had a further 5 cans on that bus then 2 more before i opened the shop up did i still feel good NO more like SHIT i remember walking around saying to myself marky what the F**k am i doing but i still as you know just had to carry on i needed it for it was my whole life in a can my life, job, family, feelings my whole life in that can as that can was the only thing that was more important than anything else in the world DO I WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT NO I LOVE LIFE MORE THAN ANYTHING NOW GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND KEEP IT IN THE DAY, KEEP IT SIMPLE AND KEEP DOING THE DOING XX MARKY XX
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