Depressed
Feeling a little depressed today. I didn't sleep well again last night. Everytime I think "I'm doing ok, I don't need to take any medication to go to bed", I end up having a horrible nights sleep. I wake up several times and think "My back is really hurting." But then I look at the clock and realize if I get up and take medication, I will be to groggy to drive in the moring.
I hate being dependent on drugs to keep my back pain under control. But my only alternatives are to deal with a lot of pain, or go through another surgery & have a fusion done. Which takes so much time to recover from. I work 2 part time jobs, neither of which have any vacation benefits. If I had to leave for 2+ months, I would lose both jobs. Not to mention the medical expenses of having the surgery done. UGH, I feel trapped by my back pain.
I hate being dependent on drugs to keep my back pain under control. But my only alternatives are to deal with a lot of pain, or go through another surgery & have a fusion done. Which takes so much time to recover from. I work 2 part time jobs, neither of which have any vacation benefits. If I had to leave for 2+ months, I would lose both jobs. Not to mention the medical expenses of having the surgery done. UGH, I feel trapped by my back pain.
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