Tomorrow I am flying out to have a 3rd interview with this great company. I passed the cultural fit interview and the verbal / written portions of the interview (dont judge the skill from these entries, yikes). Now comes the face to face along with a presentation.
The most ironic aspect of this whole thing is I have spent years trying and wanting people to like me, to approve of me. Now, I'm spending lots of time and money building myself up and realizing I am fine as me ( with a little bit of work, but who doesn't ). I find myself in the circumstance where I have to 'make' people like me. Not really said my therapist. The fact that I got this far in the interview process being myself says alot. But the nagging voice has yet to be tamed.
I was a nervous wreck, making sure the bag was empty so the TSA wouldn't find anything wrong. Making sure I have the map and know where to go. Even testing out how much time I am going to need in the morning to do hair and makeup. I
I've spent two days working on a 15 minute presentation, my poor brain is fried.
But in the last hour or so I managed to change my thought process. This isn't happening to me. I am doing this to make a better life. To take care of myself and my family, no matter how small it is. Realizing that I am the one in control and have chosen to do this makes it much easier for me. Empowerment. 
I am sure odd things will happen they always do and you can never see what is around the corner. But I've worked hard and I would like to see good for all the hard emotional and mental work I've been through.