Hey everyone! You probably thought I wasnt coming back on here. I havent been on in a few months. I've been trying to get myself back to "normal" if there is a "normal". As you know I had a miscarriage in June. I went into depression again and I wasnt sleeping. Thank God for all your prayers and mine I did start sleeping. The depression didnt go away I've been on 2 different medicines and they both worked for awhile then stopped working. And me being the brat I am...decided to stop taking my medicine. Its been almost 3 months and I want to try to go at it on my own. I've never taking depression medicine before so I dont feel I need to be on it. The miscarriages brought on the depression and I think that I'll be ok without it. But what the doctors didnt tell me when I started this new medicine is that its one of the HARDEST medicines to go off of. Its very addictive and it alters your moods and brain (pretty much). I stopped taking it this morning and I feel HORRIBLE. I've been light headed and just had a sick feeling all day. I finally called the doctor and she said the first days always the hardest because your bodies going through withdrawl. Just to hang in there and tomorrow I should feel alittle better. If not I need to go back on the lowest dose I can for a week then every other day for a week and then go off of it. And I said well what I really want to know is am I going to feel sick even after I lower the dose and try to do it that way...and she said probably. So I'm just got to stick it out. She said your almost through the day, see how I feel tomorrow and then decide. So right now I'm about to either throw up or have a nervous break down and start bawling.....mind you Im at work for another hour. Well even though I feel crappy. I wanted to check in a let you guys know Im sorry I havent been around just didnt feel like I was ready yet. But I'm back and here within the next few months I'll be ready to start trying again for a baby and I'll definatly need your guys support and courage. I'm miss you guys and I hope to hear from all of you. I know some of you have had babies and some are pregnant and I want you to know that even though I havent been on here I still pray for all of you guys. Thanks for everything. HUGS MONICA