What a screw up.  I decided that the guy I like from church had told me one or two things so I would reciprocate.  He had mentioned he wanted to know more spanish so I wrote him two short messages one today and one yesterday in Spanish.  He texts me back saying he knows no spanish.  Not indicating he would like to know what I said and when I asked him how his day went he said one line.  It is hopeless for the two of us to get together.  I just hate that the one guy who caught my attention in a hella long time is a lost end.  I missed my book club meeting this month. The book I'm reading for next month seems hard, probably cause I was distracted.  I hate myself for rejecting my high school prom date.  He is the only one who has ever wanted to be with me.  What a joke- the dreams I had as a kid.  If God exists I really hate him-tonite anyway.  Why can't I have the simple things of love and a family.  A good job is secondary to event that.