Wow.  I feel so numb.  I want to just slither away and see no one.  I miss dad and everything reminds me lately.  Father's day, his birthday, my parents anniversary.  Mom's having a tough time too.  I feel so bad.  Her birthday is the day after his too.  I just can't seem to plan nothin either.  I am hoping her best friend will help me out this time. I seem to mess everything up, nothing comes out right.  My book club meets next week so that is great.  I keep thinking something will change. I am losing hope though and don't know how long I can keep this up.  I will take care of mom for as long as I have her though-she's all I have.