here we go again

i guess this times a little easier but for months when knew it was ending hurt really badly. i havent contacted her in a week and that is huge for me. i wanted something that she didnt bottom line. she was so good at first but then went to shit. it was all about her and i was all about her. ugh. she wanted me independent and strong but god forbid she let me in or make any decisions or do anything at her place. especially at the end. think she marked her territory couple times. i hurt i love her thought she was the one. oopsie. at end drank so damn much everytime i went there cause i didnt want to feel didnt want to face reality. she got mad last time said wasnt fair of me when she was trying to talk. well hello i been begging for months to talk. found pamphlet for trip planned for next year left on her table. said so what s the plan she said i have been uninvited but she hadnt had time to discuss it with me. then she wants me to talk after ditching me. ouch. im not a kd i know what i want am stonger than before. just so tired emotionally after her.