tired

my emotions still everywhere. have my good days and bad. the guilt makes me put up walls. i want to be with my gf but feel guilty everytime i think of leaving my kids. she wants same thing but doesnt talk about it cause knows i need wait till kids older. its just hard im lonely and battling huge mood swings. trying to get better at being somewhat independent so i wont be a clingon but have some really bad days. i know she loves me just dont get why i cant be content. i just have such a better time at her place than mine it sucks. just need to keep it real.