tired

im still majorly depressed and battling hard. i just need be more independent and enjoy good times when i have them. i guess being an addict is huge problem for me cause when someone or something makes me feel good i want it bad. why do i have to loose it when gf doesnt contact me for few hours. why cant i be mature and secure and be carefree. im so damn insecure and keep loosing it all the time. im really tired of being like this.... work is so stressful right now and putting in lots of hours and not getting see the kids much or the gf so im really blue and depressed. dont think i can handle a long distance relationship anymore... once a week is not enough for me. i feel so immature she is very kind but so selfish in many ways and i so want to crawl up her behind... i cant even hardly breathe right now. im very simple and just have simple needs is it too much for liking a phone call once a day just to say hi... why is that so much to ask. i panic and wait and wait and wait. dont know what to do with myself........