life

feeling very lost. have taken break from my gf because im emotionally overloaded. i have put up a large wall and it doesnt feel good. short version yes i love her. have known her for years but she lives about hr 15 minutes away. i wont move away from kids to stay with her. considered it but i know down inside would kill me. i want a life and a partner but am miserable enough being without my kids 7 days a week. and no she wouldnt move here my house needs way too much help and she stays for her job. she hurt my feelings bad on valentines day and not bouncing back. how can i feel so much happiness and passsion one day and be miserable the next. told her i need time to make up my mind. she is very sad cause yes loves me but knows she hurt me. she is very kind probably nicer to me than anyone i have ever met. iam in very poor financial situation and it knocks me on my ass and feel worthless and that dont have anything to offer. very independent dont want anyone do anything for me. went to friends house tonight a woman i dated couple times last year. still have some feelings there and prob shouldnt have gone in fairness to my friend. im rambling little lost. i love my kids and live for them but dont want to be alone forever. what to do