fear

i wish daily that i wasnt so damn sensitive. im overtired oversensitive and when have p.m.s feel like the world is gonna come crashing down. im really really out of it these last couple days and i know fear plays a huge part of it. i told her i love her. she told me she is crazy about me. she does nice things for me and is always kind and caring. but i have put up these walls and she has to too a certain amount. it sucks because when were good we are really really good. but we only see each other day or two a week. and always stand off ish at first then its awesome. then i get sad even before i have to leave her. i have fear of her not loving me in return of it not going anywhere cause of my pets and children. im scared shitless but she makes me happy in so many ways. why cant i relax and enjoy for what it is today. im ruining it cause scared. need help very depressed