tired

had a beautiful day with my children yesterday. just wish i could not be an ass and be content with that. i have been single for the most part for ten years. have never been invited to someones home for the holidays and im feeling really shitty about it. im not that kind of person. i would invite the stray dog in for dinner if he had no place to go. so she didnt talk to me much yesterday on a freaking holiday cause she said she was feeling pressured. i said y? i said we both always text in a.m. say good morning been like that for weeks. then basically she comes out with oh my family coming for xmas and wasnt sure if that was your weekend to come up. i said y should i not come if they are there? and after awhile she said no its stress enough with them here u can come around christmas. so im hurt and distant and not sure if i have right to be upset. i wasnt allowed to thanksgiving because of the choice i made to be with her now she chooses to not come for thanksgiving and i cant go there for christmas. someone tell me is being with someone for a month but knowing them for ten years. should i expect to be wanted there for christmas? i hate being a mental mess. tired of doing this bullshit again. its just me maybe need be alone forever