good day

went to see nieces baby with my little girl. it was good day. started off very rough but all in all good day. just cant seem let ex go. and i get so down and depressed. she says morning i say morning little shit cause i hurt. she asked y the name calling so i said its cause i hurt and dont even have her as friend. she said ya u do we have to have a hang out date sometime. for someone that graduated with top honors she is stupid. how many times do i have tell her i love her and am hurting and she thinks i can just let go. now she has other friends and doesnt need me. i dont want to be so freaky needy and get depressed all the time. it sucks and makes me down and sometimes i get so down i get really scared. i want friends i want safe people i can hang out with. i feel like 4o yr old looser. but i love my kids and they keep me here and safe and the reason i continue to try to do the right thing everyday.