vacation

have the next nine days off. thankfully. stood up for myself this morning. of course after i freaked out. she did try to contact me last night but was tired so shut phone off. but she knows i work fridays and said i was gonna stop by. i wanted and needed her to come see me. i was very upset after found out have cancer and all i cared about was maybe she will want to come see me now. why does my head work this way. so of course by text i thanked her for the wake up call said i cant do this anymore. she said eventually i will get to come over her house but whats the point if she getting ready for work.then she said to me its the little emotional outbursts that make me not want to hang with you. excuse me im sorry if i just found out i have cancer and got noone to talk too and im scared and just wanted my gf. its called feelings asshole. so she says maybe we can be friends if your not gonna be emotional and see where the fuck it goes from there. and i talk to her why. she makes me feel like im a crazy person. i got put on meds which im against cause i feel mental. yes maybe a little but not totally. so now she gonna call tonite and i got nothing to say. just wanna wait till my kids show up tomorrow and get the hell out of here.