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woke up damn sad and shouldnt be have beautiful kids since tuesday and they are going back to dads today. i really love it when they are with me even though dont always act it. my girls relatives are in town and i cant meet them cause her family sucks. i think i feel really bad for her and not for myself just wish could meet her. i dont have family near by and sometimes wish i did. not really sure why feeling so sad. she told me last night after she called me that she was sorry she didnt talk much but on her way home she dont like to talk she like to unwind. which shouldnt upset me. guess im just different and want some kind of realistic communication besides texting. im loosing it this morning and dont want to. why should it hurt so bad that her family sucks and that i cant go to her house and think realized yesterday that if her parents are working all day there is no reason why she doesnt let me stop by other than she dont want me there. i think this is why i hurt. im always looking for something damn it. why cant those big beautiful brown eyes be enough.
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you arent asking for to much i think you are being more then fair, and just want a partnership that is give and take on both sides,,,is that possible? has it been ? will it ever be? qust maybe u need to an honestly to youself,,,, u love ur kids and they sense your pain and hurt and u r there role model,,,,, okay they like her, but also they may like someone even more that they see u geniunely happy with and not stressed out but all of youbeing able to enjoy life and do things together,,,, do u think? I hate to see u hurting, i have walked your path myself, and i thought the kids was ok, i didnt know how deep down they wee hurting to because they saw my sadness, moods and crying,,,,, hug, KD
keep your chin up, thats really the best thing you can do for yourself right now. Have you told her all of these feelings? have you told her how you cry, how you think, why you think she\'s behaving this way?
and trust me, from the kids\' perspective, even if they like her, they will be WAY happier and like someone who makes you happier ALOT more. i love my stepdad, but when he and my mom arent getting along i absolutely do not even want him around my family.
keep pushing forward..my mom always says that all stories have a happy ending, so if it isnt happy then your no where near the end.
we dont really communicate until i blow from keeping it all in then she gets mad i appologize and we go round and round again. i blew up by text lastnight. she got pissed gave me the silent treatment then said this is way its gonna be her family comes first she is not being mistreated and thought i shouldnt be mad cause she told me from day one this is how it is.