ugh

i feel like im freaking mentally challenged. and i hope noone takes offense. i feel like my brain doesnt work right. and that i should be perfectly happy the way things are and that i jjust start things just for attention. but i feel like im dying here and im freaking out. we had a really good night tuesday one of the best in a long time. why cant i be happy. why do i always want more. she came over thursday for like an hour and i have only talked to her by text since then. she was supposed to call after work last night only text like usual then i fell asleep for an hour then freaked out when i woke up and she hadnt called on her way home. she had really bad night again at work so shut me out again. yes i know shes independent but i need her to need something from me. been dating 5 months and havent had sex and about 2. omg thinking im gonna loose it soon. i swear if she dont stay this monday night like its been for last 3 weeks. im gonna pull what little hair i have left out of my head. im tired of feeling sorry for myself for no apparent reason. tired of sounding like a miserable bitch. got so mad cause a necklace i gave her for her graduation she dont wear anymore. i asked why she said it bothered her so she hung it in her truck. i offered to get it shortened other day and she said no thanks  i might add it too her duty belt or put it on her other chain. i said fine . she knew i was hurt she said i dont need my her jewelry she wont wear any except her chain. and why should i be so hurt. i have never bought anyone jewelry before and she said she will wear it so why cant that be enough. why cant the beast just want to be with me as much as i want to be with her. i love her so much and im hurt and she doesnt want me and ya gonna stop now.