tired

well i only made two people cry today. damn. and thought i was coping ok . oopsie guess can make it three if count myself, the ex called lastnight to say hello. she was very down, negative we just talked about work and stuff nothing bout relationship stuff about seeing each other. guess it really over. but she still texting me telling me she misses me. but yes shes not eating good and gotta tell me that. i made worker and my sister cry i think. i took weekend off first in long time to go visit her with my kids. she called to tell me she doesnt want us to come because she trying fix things with her very abusive ex gf. i think i told her to go f herself and hung up cause i was gonna loose it. she kept calling and texting but i didnt answer. she finally talked me into coming but i feel like i same as with gf. i told her i just got dumped for being needy im not begging own sister to let me come visit. guess was just hurt cause havent been up there in over a year and first full weekend with just kids and no gf. just wanted have nice weekend. im sad im tired i miss my girl but kinda know it wont work even if we go back. feel like will be too much pressure and not sure can fogive her for all the hurtful things she said to me.