pain

i just want to stop feeling like this. she just text me and all i got was a boo. so here i go crying and missing her waiting for her to say something. feeling lke wanna get sick as usual. i want to be strong and not needy. and tough. im so hurt and lost and feel like hell/ am i acting like a child it was only four months with this woman. but in that four months i felt more than i did in forty. is that supposed to mean something to her. she just told me it will get easier once i get a few under my belt or whatever like that. i was mortified cause thought she wasnt going anywhere. my kids are pretty upset and i def need pull it together before tomorrow. i wanna hide my phone cause im so sick and dont wanna keep texting her. i miss those damn big brown eyes. and laughing