So much has happened since I was last able to write. Finn was born on March 4th at 1248 AM, 33 weeks guestation. And life has been a rollercoaster.
I'll start at the begining. March 1st I woke up knowing something good and different was happening, couldnt quite put my finger on it, but I was increadible happy. Then about midday my mucus plug came out. there was a tiny bit of blood but not too much so i tried not to worry, and was told some women (expesally with their second child) will lose that early and the baby wont be born for weeks. We had an apt scedualed for the 2nd so I didnt rush in.
That night the intense cramping started...stabing pain...and I knew I was in labor. So early morning on the 3rd Joel and I rushed to our hospital with our half packed bags. Once there they said I was dialated to about 2 1.2 and after only an hour or so shipped me by ambulance to a bigger better hospital (mine unable to work with premies before the age of 36 weeks). Wildest ride I have ever been on. Contractions about 5 minutes apart, driving amazingly fast (hour and 15 minutes norm, in ambulance only 40 minute ride) on windy roads is NOT fun!
In Asheville they imediotly ordered tests and attempted to stop labor. My wonderful Doula showed up and we worked through the pain. The U/S showed a 8 pound baby (and yes at 33 weeks!) but at this time they saw something misterious on the screen in the region of his liver. Because of this mass in his liver they desided to let labor progress and hoped he would be in after the 2 shots for his lung development had time to work their magic.
I labored from that Mon night til Wed until I gave in and got an epidoral. I was SO tired! and in SO much pain! And confused/worried about the mass. Didnt want to have an epidoral but desided a more relaxed momma is what Finn needed.
Labor progressed but Finn's blood pressure was dropping a great deal in cycles and eventually we desided it was in his best interested to have him via C-cection.
I hardly got to see him, and couldnt hold him right after as they rushed around. Joel followed our baby as they put me back together. My doula was AMAZING and stayed by my side this whole time.
So they put me in a room and Finn to the NICU. I would not wish anyone to have to visit a NICU. In shock I spent as much time by his side as I could. So much happened so quickly. They ran LOTS of tests...eventually it was descovered that my sweet and very large premie has liver cancer, hepatoblastoma to be exact and possiblly Beckwith Wiedmann Syndrome.
AH! so wild mix of emotions. Lots of fam/friend visits, but Joel and I in complete shock. Hepatoblastomas are increadible rare...BW Syndrome even more rare...how did this happen????
My husband is starting to wake so I'll make this quick.
The cancer is in such a place that the Ash surgions didnt feel comfortable doing the operation needed. So they have shipped us to UNC, Chapel Hill. We are praying today to learn when his surgery is. We have been praying that same thing for days which seem like years.
Finn is a hansom little boy and I love him so much and ache to be away from him. I''ll write more later but for now I must get ready to go see my son.
I'll start at the begining. March 1st I woke up knowing something good and different was happening, couldnt quite put my finger on it, but I was increadible happy. Then about midday my mucus plug came out. there was a tiny bit of blood but not too much so i tried not to worry, and was told some women (expesally with their second child) will lose that early and the baby wont be born for weeks. We had an apt scedualed for the 2nd so I didnt rush in.
That night the intense cramping started...stabing pain...and I knew I was in labor. So early morning on the 3rd Joel and I rushed to our hospital with our half packed bags. Once there they said I was dialated to about 2 1.2 and after only an hour or so shipped me by ambulance to a bigger better hospital (mine unable to work with premies before the age of 36 weeks). Wildest ride I have ever been on. Contractions about 5 minutes apart, driving amazingly fast (hour and 15 minutes norm, in ambulance only 40 minute ride) on windy roads is NOT fun!
In Asheville they imediotly ordered tests and attempted to stop labor. My wonderful Doula showed up and we worked through the pain. The U/S showed a 8 pound baby (and yes at 33 weeks!) but at this time they saw something misterious on the screen in the region of his liver. Because of this mass in his liver they desided to let labor progress and hoped he would be in after the 2 shots for his lung development had time to work their magic.
I labored from that Mon night til Wed until I gave in and got an epidoral. I was SO tired! and in SO much pain! And confused/worried about the mass. Didnt want to have an epidoral but desided a more relaxed momma is what Finn needed.
Labor progressed but Finn's blood pressure was dropping a great deal in cycles and eventually we desided it was in his best interested to have him via C-cection.
I hardly got to see him, and couldnt hold him right after as they rushed around. Joel followed our baby as they put me back together. My doula was AMAZING and stayed by my side this whole time.
So they put me in a room and Finn to the NICU. I would not wish anyone to have to visit a NICU. In shock I spent as much time by his side as I could. So much happened so quickly. They ran LOTS of tests...eventually it was descovered that my sweet and very large premie has liver cancer, hepatoblastoma to be exact and possiblly Beckwith Wiedmann Syndrome.
AH! so wild mix of emotions. Lots of fam/friend visits, but Joel and I in complete shock. Hepatoblastomas are increadible rare...BW Syndrome even more rare...how did this happen????
My husband is starting to wake so I'll make this quick.
The cancer is in such a place that the Ash surgions didnt feel comfortable doing the operation needed. So they have shipped us to UNC, Chapel Hill. We are praying today to learn when his surgery is. We have been praying that same thing for days which seem like years.
Finn is a hansom little boy and I love him so much and ache to be away from him. I''ll write more later but for now I must get ready to go see my son.
Replies
I honestly don\'t really know what to say. When I heard about this all I could do was cry and think of how unfair it is but I wanted to let you know not a day goes by where I don\'t think about you. Your family are in my prayers. I really hope he has surgery soon and they are able to successfully cure him of all this cancer. He sounds like quite the little fighter and I am sure Liam is watching over him. You have a lot of support here, we are all thinking about little Finn. Extra big hugs.
oh sweetie! i am so sorry...i don\'t know what else to say. I am praying for you and your family, and esp. little Finn. I pray for an easy, successful surgery and a quick recovery! HUGS
Oh I\'m so sorry. After all that we all been through with losing our children, but your now going through this don\'t know what to say. You and your family are in my thoughts. You know that Liam is watching over Finn. Finn is strong little baby.
Oh my goodness Rivers, what an amazing birth story. I hope everything works out with their findings and Finn can make a speedy recovery. I am so sorry you have had to endure so much. It\'s unthinkable and unimaginable as much as we have all been through over the last couple of years. Please try and stay positive for you have so many people praying for you, Joel, and little Finn. Not to mention Liam is watching over you, so small, but yet powerful little angel. Wish I could be there to be your punching bag or your caterer for whatever you needed. Love, Hugs, and Prayers, Stacy
We are all prayying for little Finn and your family. I am so sorry that you couldn\'t have a better labor or stress free ordeal, but I know that Finn is going to bring you all the happiness in the world. Sounds like you had a great doula who helped you through your labor, very nice. Take care hun and keep us posted if you can.
so happy little Finn is here. I\'ll be praying for you all, what a difficult thing to go through. hang in there.
love, sarah
Please know you are loved!!! And Joel too and Finn too and Liam :) Wish I was closer to be able to sit with you and give a real hug!!! Your birth story is amazing!! Precious sweet boy born to amazing parents!! Truly beautiful. Hoping you have some answers about the surgery by the time you see this. Also that you are recovering from the section. That in itself is real work. Praying for you all as you continue on this new journey. Hang on - its been a wild ride and I\'m sure it will continue!! Sending lots of love!!!!!
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers at all times. I\'m so happy your little rainbow Finn is here. He sure is a big boy! I hope that they can get the surgery done asap, and that they manage to get rid of it all. Lots of hugs, prayers and love.
Thoughts and prayers are with you always.
I just can\'t believe this!!! No words seem adequate. I\'m so thankful that you and Finn made it through the delivery and am sending many prayers and hugs your way.
praying for you and your family!!!
Rivers,
I wish I could be there with you physically... I\'ve done the NICU (with Symone) and you are right... it is a horrible place. As a NICU alumnus let me prepare you for A LOT!!!
First things first, you are Blessed and Cursed at the same time... Blessed because Finn was diagnosed BEFORE you took him home... things could have been so much worse. The hospital in Chapel Hill is fabulous and being a little familiar with NC... I am thrilled that you are there with Finn. Having competent doctors is his best option and it truly does make the difference.
You are also Blessed because he is a newborn... although viewed as weak and fragile... they bounce back quicker than we do. (Also, taught by Symone)... His size helps also... had he been much smaller his chances of survival would be much less.
As I\'ve said before, Symone had open heart surgery to repair 3 problems with her heart when she was 2 weeks old... the night before her surgery I met the most gorgeous doctor I have ever seen who told me \"These babies usually die\". I took her home prior to her being diagnosed and well, fell a part at a time when I she needed me... much like the past few months.
Which leads me to the CURSED part (I know I can be long winded)... I spent 3 weeks down living in the hospital in a room a few steps away from the NICU. There were days when she was so fragile that I could not hold her and could barely hold it together... This is something I didn\'t get then, you are postpartum and you Must take care of your needs or when it is time to take care of Finn you will not be able to. I thank God for my Grandmother because she took care of my son while I was in the hospital and she came over daily to take care of me once we went home.
My heart and many, many prayers are with you. Let me know if you need me to look for any specialists... Check out Ronald McDonald foundation to see if when necessary only the BEST can take care of Finn.
Hugs, Love & Rainbows!!!
Nneka
My thoughts and prayers are with you and little Finn. Big hugs!!!
Sending hugs and praying that Finn\'s surgery goes really well... he seems like a little fighter, so like Nasnye said, hopefully his strength is on his side.