well, it's here. i am now 40 today. thats okay. i am feeling posiitve lately. it has been 2 days now since i have purge and i have even increased my calorie intake a smudge. a friend sent me an email a few days ago and it has really helped. she sent me a quote and it said"i don't have to give up my eating disorder for the rest of my life, just today. day by day" i wrote this down on index cares and plastered them all over the house so i would read it every day. i really think it has helped. taking it day by day isn't as overwhelming as a life time. i am also going to the doctor next week to start the patch to quit smoking. i think life at forty is going to be a new begining for me. i hope all is well with all my friends. stay positive and great things will start happening for you too. take care and God bless.