good morning to all. i still feel guilty about yesterday but it is a new day. yesterday someone asked me if i am scared to live without my ed and to find the real me(who i am). the answer is yes. i have always envied quiet people.lately i have been loud and wild. it is my way of covering up the pain i feel inside. i want to be more calm, quiet, honest, and aware of all my blessings around me. i feel like i have to hide, wear a mask, do it all myself. i need to be accepted by everyone. if someone doesn't accept me it destroys me. i don't feel valuable if i am not accepted. so yes, i am scared. i hate lieing and manipulateing others and ed stinks but it is all i know. the real me scares me. i hope ya all have an awesome day.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

stop feeling guilty! at just let the pain out because its destroying u!
deleted_user
deleted_user

hi, I wish i had answers to offer you but i\'m in the same boat. be strong and take care.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hopefully learning that you don\'t need everyone\'s acceptance will also help you with your ED. I feel exactly the same way, a people-pleaser, that\'s why I\'m torn apart when someone doesn\'t like me, but I\'m starting to realize there\'s people out there that i can\'t stand, and they probably have no clue either.
deleted_user
deleted_user

honey...hardly anyone in the world lets the real them shine through for all to see...u r not alone...just dont let ED be what people see...he is not a good rep
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am glad to hear that today was a better day for you!