Why
Why do I do stupid things?
I just read back the 76 emails between the N and I from Sept 16, 2009. He went through quite possibly every human emotion in that day. He pulled every N trick in the book that day, and in all my responses all I did was keep trying to comfort him and keep things under control. The whole day was absolute chaos. I was so firmly caught up in his web of insanity. WTH did I read those today, why am I keeping myself energetically connected to him when we haven't spoken in over 8 months.
I just want to erase him from my mind and my heart. Instead i just keep prolonging the pain, hurt, confusion, disappointment, fear, heartbreak and bewilderment.
Let it go, Harmonytwin....just let it....go. Please...
I just read back the 76 emails between the N and I from Sept 16, 2009. He went through quite possibly every human emotion in that day. He pulled every N trick in the book that day, and in all my responses all I did was keep trying to comfort him and keep things under control. The whole day was absolute chaos. I was so firmly caught up in his web of insanity. WTH did I read those today, why am I keeping myself energetically connected to him when we haven't spoken in over 8 months.
I just want to erase him from my mind and my heart. Instead i just keep prolonging the pain, hurt, confusion, disappointment, fear, heartbreak and bewilderment.
Let it go, Harmonytwin....just let it....go. Please...
Replies
76 from the same day??? I started to do the exact same thing though...started to read through old emails, which was a really stupid stupid thing to do especially because mine was always so awesome and sweet and kind when he was typing, so I put a stop to that quick and instead went through and deleted every single one from him without even opening it. I guess we are simply glutons for punishment...but It did feel good to finally rid my email account of all traces, I suggest you do the same.
oh honey,
sometimes i like to call myself a emotional cutter! because thats what i do as well. expect my experience is with pictures. the day i found about the cheating i deleted the emails! now im left with pictures which are far worse, because they really dont represent the truth. one day, not today when youre feeling strong...start deleting a few. then another few. you know if they arent there you wont read them. and when you dont read them these emotions wont flood. if youre not ready to let go, put them on a cd and hide the cd so they are not so readily available!
hugs!