Sorry that I have not been around for a while. Been dealing with alot of issues lately. MS is kicking my tail, optic neuritis in right eye (my only good one) and spasticity in my hands and feet. I've been in fairly constant pain. My wife and I are just not meshing, I don't think she wants to be in this marriage anymore. She is so distant from me. I told her that she treats me as if we were just house mates and not a husband. I told her that she has to start showing me some sign of affection, love, caring, but all she could say was that she'll have to think about it. That was months ago and nothing has changed. It would not surprise me if she threw me out and demanded a divorce. All this when I need her so much, she is simply not there for me at all. Money has gotten so tight, we cannot go on much longer. My lawyer says that it may be another six to eight months before my hearing on disability. By then it really will not matter. Why does our government feel it has to totally bankrupt someone in their greatest time of need? I feel terrible for my kids bacause they don't understand. I feel so worthless, I'm supposed to provide for them, but all I am doing is dragging them down with me. I see no end in site, all seems hopeless. To top it off, last night as I was getting ready for bed, I realized my wedding ring was missing off of my hand. My hands have been so numb lately that I didn't notice that it had slipped off my finger. It could be anywhere and I haven't found it yet. I'm afraid it's gone for good. I am devastated! I've tried pressing the "Esc" button on my life but that didn't help, maybe I'll try Ctrl, Alt, Delete and see what happens.
Replies
Dear Dave, Please sit, relax and take some deep breaths...I hear anxiety, pain, and depression. This is all normal with our disease. It is ok to feel the way you do. We all go through this one way or another. What type of MS do you have? It sounds as though you are in a relapse for sure. I too suffer from the spasticity in my legs, in hurts like hell. Have you tried putting a heating pad on them. or do you have a vibrator. I have a long pad about 1 inch thick with foam, it has heat and 3 different site settings low, med high for vibration. It cost about $24.00. It goes from my head to my toes....15 minutes later I feel better.
Now in the domestic dept. I think that you deserve to know what is going on in her mind. You need her more then ever for support and love. Why does she have to think about it??Don\'t understand, she is your wife. I think the two of you need to go to Lunch, Park, or Dinner and get out of the house, no kids around and have a long calm talk and see what is happening with your love.
Government, I waited 3 years and was 1 month from having my home taken in foreclosure...When I got approved for SSD. I know where you are coming from. We hard working Americans get nothing compared to the benefits all the illegals get..Not fair at all. Making us wait it out, I think they do it figuring your give up and leave them alone. Hang in there, really things seem bleak now, but the sun will shine again.
I will pray that you will find your wedding ring....Ask you wife, she may have found it and thought you meant something by it...
Take Care,
LOL
Dave I have been there I am a Veteran that fought the system 8 years for my VA disability, and the social security 4 years. I used Attorneys, and member of congress. Had I not been so dogmatic I would have ended up with nothing.
As for my wife I beleive that she stayed because of what relatives would say, but There was not much support (consistant). I got divorced and moved on after a 25 years.
There were no children involved, and the wife had a career. I had been at the bottom of her totem pole for years. No personal advice, Just encouragement to hang in there, and have faith that things will get better. How, and when nobody knows, but I do know that the world needs people like you.
Best wishes Larry
HI DAVE-
I FEEL SO BAD 4 U--WISH I HAD SOME SOLUTION TO UR PROBLEMS. HAS UR WIFE DONE ANY READING RE MS? DO U HAVE THE BOOK \"MS AND YOUR FEELINGS?\" SORRY I\'M NOT MUCH HELP. I\'M GOING TBRU SOME DOWN TIMES MYSELF. I COULD SAY \"GOD DOESN\'T GIVE US MORE TJAN WE CAN HANDLE\" BUT THAT WON\'T PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE. I DO KNOW WHAT IT\'S LIKE TO FEEL LONELY RE MS AS SPOUSES WHO DON\'T HAVE IT JUST DON\'T KNOW WHAT WE GO THRU.
HANG IN THERE, DAVE. UR KIDS NEED YA.
KAREN
Dave,
trust me you are not alone. I went thru hell when I was dx. Lost everything including my job so I could not afford my house or truck. After the house was gone in Aug, I was approved for disability in Oct. Weird huh. Gotta luv the system have give it all up before our goverment will do anything! Just look at what they have done for people now facing foreclosure - NOTHING! I know its hard to relax but try, Sounds like your wife is scared too. Never give up. Tie knots. Big Huggggggggggssssssss!