idk

well I didnt want to write about it because I wanted to believe the odds were possible for me. I been having the pregnancey symptoms as well, there is a new girl at my job that also had her tubes tied and two years after she got pregnant .. so a total of five times.. she birth 3 that are now fine and healthy she miscarried one and the last one grew in her tubes.. Idk.. that like that irony in your face kinda stuff. To me it was a sign that it can happpen to me to. Well the idea made me happy but I didnt want to get caught up with the illusion becasue the odds was still slim to none.. Althought anything is possible.. faith over fear.. a girl from my job brought me a test.... results NEGATIVE... it took everything in me not to cry.. I knew better.... but just for a second it was a good feeling.. Now im back to square one.. not pregnant but still haveing the nausea the food cravings the sore breast and the tired, anger, and frstration. It's very disappointing.. I shouldnt have to pay 6000.00 to be blessed with another child. I have no one to blame but myself. Thats the price I paid for getting my tubes tied. Oh well... I guess I should start back focusing on loosing weight. Oh yeah i forgot I cant because I'm always freaking sick, hungry, and tired. Why do I have to go threw all this man.............