Made it through another week.  I am feeling a little better.  Still have a lot of anxiety, and derpession.  I went to the doctor and gave me some Prozac.  I was really determined to do this without meds. But for right now, I just cant.  I scared myself the other day.  I have never felt that low in my life.  I am a little ashamed of my last journal entry, but I have decided not to delete in, in hopes that if someone else reads it, and then reads the following entry, they will see that things do get better.  Thankfully, even when I was feeling horrible, I still was hoping that I would feel better. It's so hard to feel like you are at the bottom, but still have your life going on around you.  I missed one of my daughters soccer games the other day, I have never missed a game, EVER.  I have to forgive myself, and just go on.   The girls homework last week suffered as well.   Now I am paying the price, because I am trying to help my 10 year old work on her Social Studies report that is due Wednesday, that we should have worked on last week.  So this is the price that my kids pay for my situation.  Yes, I have  a husband, and yes he did help, but I am the leader of the household when it comes to homework, extra activieties, and the like. My mother never wigged out for a couple of days!!! I just wonder how this will affect them as they get older.  Will they remeber that Mommy couldn't help them with homework because she "wasn't feeling well" and will it hit them one day that I was unstable.. That makes me so sad.