Ok, so things were going fine for a good while. And now I just am to the point where I feel like I am taking steps backwards. Today has not been good. This is a long story. But the short version is. My MIL is getting new furniture in her house. She has offered us some of her old stuff. I declined, politley. I donot care for the style of furniture she has. Well my husband decides that we do need it. After I already told MIL no thank you.so right now he is picking it up. I voiced my reasons that I dont want it. We really dont need it. I dont like it. It doesnt go with the style of the rest of our house.But that doesnt matter. And that 's how I feel that he reacts to most of my opinions. I did nt want to live where we live. He wanted a "WOW" house. We couldnt afford a wow house in the area where we grew up. So we moved here. We are in the mountains, in a snobby section of the poorest county in this part of the state. If you can follow that!!! So this translates into little job oppurtunities for me. I have bachelors degree in accounting. I work for a 5 star hotel in the accounting department, but dont even make 10.00 an hour. This leads me back to my last journal entry. Remember that the hubby said that my job was dead end etc. Well yeah it is, but I am in this position because of a chose that he really forced on me. I love our house, I love the school that my kids attend. I have made a lot of friends here. There are good things about where we are. Even though there are people here who are the creme de la creme of our area, for the most part they are kind, caring, people. The pace of life here is much slower, which I like as well. But jeez, if I am going to be ridiculed for the lack of money I am making, and this is very much tied to our location. What am I supposed to do. Anyway, I have mentioned my MIL before. She has just been a thorn in my side for a long time. I really think she enjoys having my husband and I at odds about things. Case in point, the furniture, I told her no thanks, she turns around and calls my husband. I dont know why it is such a big deal to her that we have this. She bought this after my husband moved out of the house. It's not like it has some fond childhood memories for him. Am I wrong here?? Shouldnt I be able to say no to things and not be overruled??? I just feel like I have no choice in the way my life goes sometimes. This really isnt about the furniture, it's about having something in my life the way I want it, not the way everyone thinks I should have it. I just feel like I dont have choices. I am so anxious right now. My heart is racing and my jaw aches. Do I need to just say ok, whatever. Bring on the old lady furniture, and smile about it???I am really looking for advice here. Today's issue (furniture) is not the true problem, and I recognize that. A lot of people would be very happy to recieve free furniture. I feel like I am reaching a cross roads in my life. Do I continue the way I have always been, and accept things and not let them bother me. Or do I stand up for myself, and have things my way for once. By the way, for those of you who have been following along with my saga, the hubby apologized for saying the rude comments about my job when he returned from his trip. But again, its not the first time he said something like that and it probably wont be the last. AAAAHHHHHH!!!!I feel the worst I have felt in the last two months. I have an appointment with the counselor this week, maybe that will help.
Replies
yes... you should be able to say no, and not be overruled! That\'s what a partnership is all about! Do you have a room in the house that is completely yours, where you alone choose what is in it, and where you can go for privacy and really feel it is YOUR space? Or does every room feel like it\'s \'shared\', and it\'s you that is having to compromise? I\'m fortunate in that respect, I guess. Sara and I sleep in different bedrooms, so my room is COMPLETELY mine. Is there a space you can truly claim for yourself, free of compromise? Just a thought... xx
You should have a say in what comes into your house.This is what i do with my husband,we talk about it first,then we both agree on what we are going to do.Now don\'t get me wrong,sometimes he does things i donot like,and i do the same.This is something you both will share,so you both should have talked about it.Or your husband should have respected your wishes,and told his MOM,we don\'t need it.It was not fair to you,for her to call you,and then call your husband.I married a Mama Boy,lord help me at the time i didn\'t know! God rest her soul,she had her ways,but she was good to me.I was and still am the kind of person to speak my mind,and i am still that way to this day.There were at lot of times i should have kept my mouth shut,but at least my MIL,knew how i felt.She had another son and his wife talked behine her back.I agree with you,hun,you should have not had to deal with this,when a simple no from your huband too would have saved you all this being upset.My prayers are with you.Love you my friend,SHEA...........................
You should have a say in what comes into your house.This is what i do with my husband,we talk about it first,then we both agree on what we are going to do.Now don\'t get me wrong,sometimes he does things i donot like,and i do the same.This is something you both will share,so you both should have talked about it.Or your husband should have respected your wishes,and told his MOM,we don\'t need it.It was not fair to you,for her to call you,and then call your husband.I married a Mama Boy,lord help me at the time i didn\'t know! God rest her soul,she had her ways,but she was good to me.I was and still am the kind of person to speak my mind,and i am still that way to this day.There were at lot of times i should have kept my mouth shut,but at least my MIL,knew how i felt.She had another son and his wife talked behine her back.I agree with you,hun,you should have not had to deal with this,when a simple no from your huband too would have saved you all this being upset.My prayers are with you.Love you my friend,SHEA...........................
MIL\'s...suck! Drew\'s was here this weekend and all I could think was, thank God I was too busy to not see her! It is a touchy subject and I honestly think this woman loves causing a rift between Drew and I. I think you were right in voicing your opinion (encountered same thing with weekend) and then its up to him to make the decision. My MIL always wants money. I told Drew if he gives her money, he is just enabling her. She expects him to do it (not like she did or does a heck of a lot for him). Hang in there!
Absolutley you should have a say in whats in your house! Definetly speak up, don\'t be afraid of what your MIL will think, it\'s your husband that matters. You shoulld definetly talk to him about this further. Just like you said to us, you should say to him, that the furniture isn\'t even really the issue here, it\'s people telling you how your life should be. Good luck and keep us posted. xoxo, remember, speak up girl!