OK so I know I am a little sensitive right now. But I am not happy. My husbands sister lives in South Carolina. They are coming up for their summer visit. Which is fine. We are having a birthday party for my daughter on Sunday. (Not her actual birthday, just when we could fit it in.) Anyway, they are cominng on Sunday to PA. Everyone thinks I should change the party. Well sorry, I am not.
Whenever they come up they never know when they are coming. We just found out today they will be here on Sunday. OK that's fine. They never can plan anything more than a couple of days in advance. They have always blamed this on the husbands job, well know matter what type of job he has (pilot, medical sales)they say they never know when he can have vacation. BULL!!! They are just terrible planners, and then they expect everyone to drop our lives and entertain them while they are here. AHHHHHH!!! I am not doing it this time, I am continuing with our plans, if they get here early enough in the day, then they can join the party, if they dont then I will see them another day. We are usually expected to sit at my mother in laws and wait for them to arrive!!!!!! I have done this for the last 12 years. No more.
The other thing that really bothers me is that for the last month I have been having a really hard time. Mind you, they do not know all the details, but they know I was rushed to the hospital, and had a stress test. Neither my mother in law or sister in law have ever called me to see how I am. As a matter of fact, my daughter called my sister in law last night about a school project,and my sister in law did not even ask to speak to me. Not only that but she didnt even mention to my daughter that they were coming up. I told me husband tonight that I was very hurt that neither his mother or sister has called me in the last month. He said "Well, they've asked me how you are."
I just have never felt a part of their family. I really have a hard time liking my mother in law. She has done so many things to cause problems. She refuses to EVER watch my kids while I work because she told me one time that "Good mothers dont work" Hello??? Is this 1957 or 2007????
My sister in law has struggled with Post Tramtic Syndrom as well as depression, but has been doing well for the last 9 years.
I told her that I was struggling with anxiety.
She has offered no support!!!!!!
God they make me crazy. I dont want to feel like this towards them. I have really tried over the last couple of year to accept them as they are, and just forget how much of an outsider they make me feel like.
My family accepts Brian for who he is and he and my dad are very close. So why am I not worthy of being accepted by his family?????
Brian has a couple of cousins that I am close with and that makes things a little easier. I am not a bad person. I buy all the Birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, invite them over for dinner, throw dinner together when his mom and her husband show up at 5pm/ (They always make the comment, Oh we had no idea it was dinner time!!! Yeah right!!!
OOOOHHHHHHH they just make me so mad I am getting all tensed up writing this.
But this is good, I need to discover all the things that make me anxious and decide how I should deal with them.
I am going to speak with a counselor this week, I think that is good timing. I would honestly say that one of my biggest disappointments in my life is not feeling like a member of my husbands family. I feel like crying right now. But I am not going to.
Another thing that makes me crazy is that they are supposed strict Christians. I am sorry, but I thougt Christians treated others as they would want to be treated (at least thats what my church taught me)
Do you know that every year my mother in law attends a mother daughter banquet at her church takes her dead husbands mother (she is remarried) and has NEVER asked either me or my girls to go with her?????? Is that not isulting or what??? If she doesnt want me should she at least take her grandaughters???
She will act nice to my face, and then say things about me that get back to me.
Man this is long, I just needed to get this off my chest!!! Off to walk off the stress!!!!!
Whenever they come up they never know when they are coming. We just found out today they will be here on Sunday. OK that's fine. They never can plan anything more than a couple of days in advance. They have always blamed this on the husbands job, well know matter what type of job he has (pilot, medical sales)they say they never know when he can have vacation. BULL!!! They are just terrible planners, and then they expect everyone to drop our lives and entertain them while they are here. AHHHHHH!!! I am not doing it this time, I am continuing with our plans, if they get here early enough in the day, then they can join the party, if they dont then I will see them another day. We are usually expected to sit at my mother in laws and wait for them to arrive!!!!!! I have done this for the last 12 years. No more.
The other thing that really bothers me is that for the last month I have been having a really hard time. Mind you, they do not know all the details, but they know I was rushed to the hospital, and had a stress test. Neither my mother in law or sister in law have ever called me to see how I am. As a matter of fact, my daughter called my sister in law last night about a school project,and my sister in law did not even ask to speak to me. Not only that but she didnt even mention to my daughter that they were coming up. I told me husband tonight that I was very hurt that neither his mother or sister has called me in the last month. He said "Well, they've asked me how you are."
I just have never felt a part of their family. I really have a hard time liking my mother in law. She has done so many things to cause problems. She refuses to EVER watch my kids while I work because she told me one time that "Good mothers dont work" Hello??? Is this 1957 or 2007????
My sister in law has struggled with Post Tramtic Syndrom as well as depression, but has been doing well for the last 9 years.
I told her that I was struggling with anxiety.
She has offered no support!!!!!!
God they make me crazy. I dont want to feel like this towards them. I have really tried over the last couple of year to accept them as they are, and just forget how much of an outsider they make me feel like.
My family accepts Brian for who he is and he and my dad are very close. So why am I not worthy of being accepted by his family?????
Brian has a couple of cousins that I am close with and that makes things a little easier. I am not a bad person. I buy all the Birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, invite them over for dinner, throw dinner together when his mom and her husband show up at 5pm/ (They always make the comment, Oh we had no idea it was dinner time!!! Yeah right!!!
OOOOHHHHHHH they just make me so mad I am getting all tensed up writing this.
But this is good, I need to discover all the things that make me anxious and decide how I should deal with them.
I am going to speak with a counselor this week, I think that is good timing. I would honestly say that one of my biggest disappointments in my life is not feeling like a member of my husbands family. I feel like crying right now. But I am not going to.
Another thing that makes me crazy is that they are supposed strict Christians. I am sorry, but I thougt Christians treated others as they would want to be treated (at least thats what my church taught me)
Do you know that every year my mother in law attends a mother daughter banquet at her church takes her dead husbands mother (she is remarried) and has NEVER asked either me or my girls to go with her?????? Is that not isulting or what??? If she doesnt want me should she at least take her grandaughters???
She will act nice to my face, and then say things about me that get back to me.
Man this is long, I just needed to get this off my chest!!! Off to walk off the stress!!!!!
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