I havent written in my journal for a while. Things are going well. I have actually gone shopping by myself 2 times in the last week. i couldnt do that two weeks ago. That made me feel good, seeing the improvement. I stopped taking the Zoloft though. I couldnt sleep, eat, and I was constantly nervous. I called my doctor about this twice and the nurse just told me that it takes a while to get in your system and the reaction was normal.... Well, I'm sorry but I just cant continue to take this stuff and not be able to sleep!!!!
I have been walking every single day for at least 45 minutes and I feel so much better it is unbelievable. My blood pressure has also come down at least 10 points!!!
I still worry everytime something in my body feels "off" or different. That is getting on my nerves, but I did talk myself out of a full blown panic attack Friday afternoon with out taking a Xanax!! I must say that I was proud of myself.
My kids seem to notice a differnce in me as well. My oldest daughter (age 10 but going on 25) told me that I seemed much happier this week. I felt so bad that she has noticed that things are not quite right. But I have been very careful not to take anything out on the girls. There has been no yellling,crying, etc. that they have witness. Another thing that I am proud of, I just want them to have as normal of a life as possible. They dont deserve anything less. I mentioned previously, that I have found out that my grandfather and aunt both had panic attacks and anxiety, so that is something that I hope I dont pass down to my girls. Brian has been so supportive, has made it his job to clean the kitchen every day. I really appreciate that.
So I guess I am very lucky, I seem to have a little more control on the situation now.
I hope I didnt just jinx myself!!
Good night