today

  Crap i didnt write anything yesterday.Ok ill make it up by writing more today, hahah I woke up at 6:00 am today for work and didnt get home till 3, even then i didnt get to have a nap way to much work to do around the house...lots of laundry, and cleaning.I am trying to make better choices for myself and this month as hard as it has been i really feel i have done alot.I cleaned and re did my room...taking forever and alot of money. Also i have quite smoking weed it has been a month or more since my last joint im very proud of myself for that one. Also i am thinking of taking a hot yoga class ( this is were u do yoga in a sauna pretty much..its alot of hard work but really awesome in the winter when its cold out)I am trying not to eat unhealthy...hahah out of everything this really is the hardest. I often eat 2 donuts every morning before work..now i have a blueberry muffin.Although today i did have a donut and reeses peices...but i figure once a week that is ok. Other then that i feel i have been eating well today...muffin...bagel...water..eeek nevermind that doesnt sound very healthy haha.Still though.Man i wish i got a nap today...mmmm dreams.O well tomorrow forsure.This is the first day i have actually been on my feet all day in a long time...my back kills!That just shows how lazy i really am ha. "He" maybe coming over later tonight.I hope he does i miss him so much and any time alone would be amazing, even if its as friends...its sad but he makes me happy. Even when i was mad at him in the past i was still happy..he always made me smile.God i hope he comes over...Though i really dont think he will. This hole looking for a second job thing isnt going great...i keep forgeting to call this jobconnect place that helps you find jobs. Thats the first thing i know i need to do and i keep forgetting..or when i remember its to late or to early.I owe alot of people money, i need this second job.I owe the vet moneyI owe family moneyAnd more...I dream of winning the lotto and all the things i could do...pay my bills, get a nice little appartment for me and my pets...finaly be able to go to that school in toronto i have been wanting to go to.and buy my parents a farm or some place amazing..OOOH and get a car...thats it i think.. The later it gets and the more i think of him coming over i get nervous..and my tummy starts to hurt...althought i also think my tummy is hurting cuz of the crap i ate today...or lack there of.....but he makes me happy hahah man, love isnt fun.