today i decided to sleep through my alarm. then 10 min later i got called in to work (substitute teacher). thats good, cuz it made me get up. i was all ready to waste another day and hate myself for it. 
it's so humiliating going back to my old school at this age having done nothing with my life and not having a job, etc.
i only had to work a half day. at least i have been motivated since i got home. inefficient, but did a couple things i wanted to do. 
the problem is that i cannot stay motivated by myself and i need to share my life/experiences with someone. not like in a girlfriend/life mate kind of way, just basically an outlet where i can deposit all my thoughts, feelings to another human being. someone i know and can admit everything to. writing in this journal or if i did it on a blog, that's not enough. alas.



Maybe you should just go out there and see if there are any friends out there that can be the way you need them to be. There are a lot of nice people, not all of them are dicks. You can always tell me anything. I\'m a good listener. I wish you luck and hope you find the motivation you are seeking and the someone to share your life with. Hope your weekend is full of fun. :)